The nurse said his hair was sexy. She said his eyelashes were so long that if he were a girl she’d think they were falsies. She said he was so sexy. If only she knew!
I want to run my fingers through those curls again. I want to feel the solid
muscles under the curls on his chest. I want to see the way he fluttered those
eyelashes at me, daring me to kiss him in public.
I want to trace the line down from his chest and across his tight abdomen down
to where the curls start again for real.
They’ve taken away the tubes and unhooked the monitors. He’s lying
there, so still and quiet. Just that last tube between his teeth stopping me
from kissing those sweet lips one more time. From tugging the lower lip between
my teeth and watching it swell slightly with desire. I’ll never feel his
tongue curling up to meet mine again
So still.
His arms straight alongside his body.
The bandages snowy white against his brown skin.
He looks like he’s sleeping but this time he’s gone.
Someone is calling me away. I can’t leave him. I want to go with him
into that dark night. I know in the end he was scared. I know he wanted me to
hold his hand. I got there in time for that. I could hear him screaming for
me across our consciousness as I ran into the hospital. Calling me to pull him
back and get him out of here.
I was too late.
I couldn’t pull him back and now I’ve lost him.
**
“Hutch.” I can hear him now.
His voice is hoarse and low the way it was when he called me on.
I turn.
He’s there, smiling that lop-sided smile and holding out his hands.
His naked and there are no scars anymore; just perfect muscles and dark curls
in all the right places. I walk towards him and he pulls me into the vortex.
We are together for ever and for always.
Me and Thee.