“Aw shit, aw shit, aw shit….”
Hutch sat in the locker room and listened to his partner cursing and swearing as he struggled out of his filthy clothes and dealt with the mess. Much to the blond’s relief Starsky had toned it down from his original outbursts. They had been working together for years now but Starsky could still shock Hutch with the strings of obscenities he came out with when he was angry or frustrated; and today’s accident had provoked some of his worst outbursts.

“SHI-I-I-T!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Starsky’s anger filled the place.

A couple of other cops came into the locker room; they sniffed the foul air and looked at Hutch in disgust.
“Hey I didn’t…you don’t think….”
He didn’t need to say anything more; Starsky’s filthy windcheater flew out of the shower stall followed by a new stream of foul oaths.
Jenkins used his nightstick to lift the malodorous jacket. “What happened?”
Hutch shook his head slowly. “He fell.”

Starsky’s jeans and T-shirt came flying out – Parsons took the T-shirt full in the face. He made the mistake of breathing, screwed up his nose, gagged and ran to the toilets.
“Damn it. Shit!” Starsky’s anger was echoing round the locker room and more officers were arriving to hear the show.
Two Adidas trainers and a pair of socks sailed through the air. One of the cops kicked a shoe and stared at it. “I thought they were blue.” He said as he kicked the thing away holding his nose as he did.
“They are.” Hutch said carefully. At least, they are blue underneath all that stuff.”
“Yeech. What is this stuff anyway?”
“You want the official name?” Hutch grinned. “Officially it’s final product mud.”
“Final product what?”
“Aw shit” Starsky’s anger was almost peaked out now. The sound of water rushing from the shower drowned out anything he might have to add.
Hutch grinned again… “like the man said. He fell into it.”

“He fell into it?”
“Yes. We were chasing a couple of kids who tried to rip off his hubcaps while we were chatting with an informant over by the waste purification facility. Starsky took off after them like a bat out of hell. You know how fast he can be when he really needs to. So off he went and the kids went up to the facility and Starsky went after them. One of the kids turned around to taunt him and Starsky threw a tackle worthy of a Super Bowl final and the kid sidestepped; which was when I realized what the little mound the kid was standing was hiding. Starsky flew…straight into it.”
“Phew!” Jenkins said. “ It must have been hell in the car with him.”
“Well we had both cars with us so…”
“Lucky for you.”
“You said it.”

Hutch started to gather up Starsky’s disgusting clothes and shove them into a big plastic sack that he’d found in the janitor’s closet. He opened Starsky’s locker and took out the spare clothes that his partner kept in case of emergencies. This sure was an emergency.

Hutch sat and waited. He looked at the clock. Five minutes. Starsky was still cursing under the water. Hutch leaned back and closed his eyes. A vision of his filth-covered partner flashed through his mind. “There but for the grace of god, Hutchinson – for once you let him take off first.” He thought.

It seemed like hours; Hutch waited patiently.

Ten minutes later Starsky emerged; his skin was pink and glowing as if he had scrubbed himself clean; his curly hair was beginning to spring back from being plastered against his skull. He grabbed the towel that Hutch was holding and started to towel himself dry. He glowered and started to dress in the spare clothes. He looked into the bottom of the locker to find spare shoes. He leaned down to retrieve his spare footwear.

Hutch looked over to where Starsky was standing holding the only pair of shoes in his locker – patent leather dancing shoes!

“Aw shit!”